I can change them, somehow.

We often spend more energy on helping and fixing others than on helping ourselves. Foolishly, we believe that we are capable of helping everyone who crosses our paths. The truth is that our not-so-subtle tactics (nagging, hinting, scheming) don't work. We will never change another person;only God can do that. Sometimes we have to let go of how others need to change and focus on how God would change us. 
1 Peter 3:1-2)

1 In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over  

2 by observing your pure and reverent lives.

Where this thinking becomes particularly dangerous is in abusive relationships. Some women in abusive relationships believe that if they could just change their man or fix something about themselves, then he'd stop hurting them. That's not true. Abuse had nothing to do with what a woman is doing or not doing. The best thing a woman can do is to change her thinking and get some help for herself and/or her children. After all, a man may never decide to change, and staying in that abusive relationship only enables his patterns. If you are in an abusive situation, remember:

• One in three women will be abused in her own home by someone she loves at some point in her life. God did not intend for there to be abuse in relationships. He loves you and wants to keep you from harm. (Psalm 121:7-8). He has great plans for you to live your life to the fullest-and those plans don't include abuse. 
• Emotional abuse-name calling, yelling, manipulation, threats-is often worse than physical abuse since it doesn't leave visible bruises, and family and friends may not believe you. You do not have to put up with this behavior. 
• It's OK to seek help at a domestic violence agency or with a counselor. Many people are trained to help you make the changes you need to make.

{Jeremiah 29:11}

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

 {Matthew 7:3}

“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own?  

{1 Corinthians 13:4-7}

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud  

5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.  

6I t does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  

7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

{Ephesians 5:21-33}

21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord.  

23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church.  

24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 

26  to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.  

27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault.  

28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself.  

29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church.  

30 And we are members of his body.

31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”  

32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 

33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.