"We should go our separate ways"

Some women justify walking out on their marriages after the love dies. Well, they reason, we had a 50 percent chance of failure anyway. But that's not true.. The one-in-two statistic originated from misinterpreting the research originally released by the National Center for Health Statistics during the late 1970's when the introduction of the no-fault divorce contributed to a skyrocketing incidence of divorces. The research stated that the number of divorces in one year was precisely half the number of marriages. The media helped deduce the one-in-two theory, and the rest is history. However, what about the millions of existing marriages (more than 50 million at the time) who neither married nor divorced that year? Those who propagated the 50% headline "forgot" to account for this second category. The result was a skewed representation of research that still makes its way into articles and news reports (and even well-meaning pastors' sermons), bemoaning the "inevitability" of divorce in the U.S.

It's not wonder that many women who sense a pall wash over the passion in their marriages assume it's the beginning of the end. They conclude with fatalistic resolve that they must have wound up on the other side of the one-in-two dividing line-just the luck of the draw. 

So, what do you do when your marriage seems to be waning? When you don't feel in love anymore? When you wonder if you made a mistake?

Beyond the fact that this statistic simply isn't true, the reality is that "going our separate ways" is not as easy as it initially sounds. Divorce court is no picnic-alimony,custody battles, division of property. And divorce is a life-altering decision with lasting effects. Women and men may heal from the emotional damage divorce causes, but the scars remain for a lifetime. 

The Bible endorses a mature marriage commitment based on love. It's a choice we make whether we feel like being loving or not. 
Colossians 3:12-14 (NLT)
12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.  
13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.  
14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. 
 In every relationship, we will face times when we feel as if the love is lacking. Like the Israelites who didn't feel like they could go on, we may desperately want to give up during difficult seasons. While fluctuating feelings are a reality in marriage, they are not a loophole in the marriage vows. -Woman's Devotional Bible 


{1 Corinthians 13:4-7}

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 

5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 

7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

{1 Peter 4:8}

Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.
 

{1 John 3:11}

This is the message you have heard from the beginning: We should love one another.